Not Worth Living
by Vchanny
Summary: [Updated!] Heero debates just how safe he's keeping Relena. Just another H&R fluff fic. But this time, I'm writing it.
1. The Dream

"Not Worth Living" by Vchanny

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or it's characters. They belong to people with lots of money. I do not have lots of money. Therefore, they cannot possibly belong to me.

Intro: This fic will be high in fluff. If you do not enjoy fluff, then proceed with caution. It's not _all _fluff though, so sorry to all of you that thought it would be. There's plenty of drama and action related-ness to fulfill your needs. Everyone can be happy!

I took the idea for this from the last chapter of the graphic novel, Gundam Wing: Episode Zero. It ends in a bit of a cliffhanger and the reader is urged to come up with their own ending. And here I am. This is my version of the ending, and some events leading up to it. Enjoy.

"Dialogue"

'Thoughts'

Chapter One: The Dream

With the New Year brought peace to the Earth Sphere Unified Nation. The Preventors successfully extinguished the Mariemaia threat. DeKim was put to rest, and the young Mariemaia was put under the care of Lady Une. After things settled, Quatre returned to take over his father's company, Trowa resumed his life with Catherine and the circus troupe, Duo left back to the junk yard, and Wufei joined Sally as a Preventor. After recovering from his injuries, Heero took the position as Relena's personal guard, leading and watching over her security team. The year is A.C. 197.

"Hey, man!" A man appearing to be in his twenties high-fived his friend. "Hey, I finally talked that cute secretary into going on a date."

The friend gave him a nod of approval. "Awesome."

"Yeah, we're going on Saturday. She said she had a friend if you wanted to come."

"I can't."

The man shot a questioning look. He'd never known his friend to pass up on an opportunity such as this. "What?! Did you just tell me that you can't? Why the hell not?"

"Princess is going to some party on Saturday, and I'm one of the poor bastards that got chosen to go. What a bunch of shit, right? We're supposed to be in some 'time of peace' or something. What's the point of a security team tagging along--"

He was cut off by the glare of two Prussian blue eyes.

The two grew silent and stared blankly as Heero approached them.

"Shit," the man whispered.

Heero handed a folder to the friend. "Since you seem to think that the safety of the Vice Foreign Minister is, as you said, a bunch of shit, I'm going to have you brief the team. Here's your copy." He gave a cold glare and turned to the man. "And you," he paused as he watched a bead of sweat roll down the man's face. "Don't you have somewhere to be? You _are_ in uniform."

They both gave a "yes sir" and a salute before walking away nervously. Heero rolled his eyes and walked down the hall. He had some business to take care of before Saturday.

Soon, he found himself in his office, lit only by the soft glow of the computer screen. The space was small, but it suited his purposes. It had the quickest route to the stairs, and people were rarely in the area, giving him a chance to get things done without much interruption. As for the size, he'd worked in closer quarters before.

Heero sat down a stack of folders on his desk and began typing on his laptop. First, he checked his security cameras. There had been some installed in the building before he'd taken the position that were monitored 24/7, but he liked his better. After looking at them for a few moments, he began opening up email.

"Junk… junk…" he murmured to himself. "Chain letter from Duo… junk… junk."

He continued deleting things until he came across a security report he'd been waiting for. Upon reading and replying, Heero turned on his desk lamp and began looking through the folders he'd brought with him. Some held information on the location if the party Relena would be attending. He had blueprints, marked with at least ten escape routes that he'd already memorized, along with street maps. In another, he had background information on every guest attending and on anyone else that would be there. And in the last folder, he had the security plan for the evening that he'd already checked a dozen times. One more couldn't hurt.

------

Relena smacked her lips together and looked into the mirror. "Perfect…" Taking just one last look, she left her bathroom and took hold of the dress she had lying out on her bed. It was a knee-length white dress with black, diagonal patterns across the waist. Dorothy had helped her pick it out a few weeks before. She'd said it was "cute but still classy enough to wear to a business party." Relena couldn't help but frown on the last part of that. She hadn't really been thinking of this party as being of a business nature. It was, in a sense, but she refused to look at it that way. It was going to be a nice night out.

She returned to her bathroom and changed into her dress, making sure she didn't make a mess of her hair and make-up; she'd spent too long on it to mess it up now. Finished, except for shoes, Relena took a look in the mirror to admire herself. The dress was pretty flattering on her, she admitted. She then found herself wondering if he'd think so too. Her thoughts were cut off by a knock at the door.

"Relena!?"

She smiled. He'd interrupted her thinking about him.

"Are you done? We're going to fall off schedule!"

Relena grabbed her purse and shoes from the vanity. "Coming!"

------

Heero impatiently waited outside Relena's bedroom. He'd have to make adjustments to his perfectly planned schedule if she didn't hurry. He let out a short sigh and leaned against the wall just before the handle turned. He stood straight up to get ready to take a hold of her hand and hurry her along, but when he caught sight of her, he couldn't move. He couldn't think. She looked so beautiful. The Perfect Soldier rendered helpless at the sight of a woman; how ironic.

"Heero?" her voice seemed to sing out to him.

Heero cleared his throat, and mind, and nodded. "Right. Let's go. We'll be late."

Relena smiled and the two left for the party.

------

Heero and Relena walked to the entrance arm in arm.

"Now, remember, when you leave--"

"--You'll be at the door waiting." She finished. "I know." She gave him a warm smile as they parted and she headed off into the crowd of people, leaving Heero at his watch post.

After mingling with a few groups, Relena found herself with some girls closer to her own age: children of those she worked with.

"Relena! It's so nice to see you!" one quickly shrieked as she gave Relena a quick hug.

"It's a pleasure to see you too, Miss Emily."

"Relena," another began, "Who's your date? What a fox!"

The rest agreed as Relena struggled to figure out what she'd meant. She didn't _have_ a date. "Date?"

"Yeah, yeah. The dark haired one up there."

Relena looked in the direction the girl pointed. Heero. A smile crept across her face. Had they really looked like a couple coming in? If only. "Oh, him. He's not my date. I didn't bring one."

"Good news for me!" One of the girls giggled. "I'm going to go get a number!"

"Oh! You can't do that!" Relena blurted out. Eh oh, now she'd done it. "Erm… what I mean is, he's on duty. He's a security guard of mine."

"Ooh, okay then. There are other cuties around here anyway."

The girls began pointing out men in the room who they thought were cute. Relena only thought of him. And how she'd blurted that out. At least she'd come up with some logical recovery. She couldn't tell them the truth, that she was in love with her personal security guard. That would be a fun mess to sort out.

As the night came to a close, Heero met with Relena at the door.

"Are we still on schedule?"

"Did you have fun?"

Relena smiled. "It was nice."

------

Heero dropped Relena off and got into his own car to drive back to his apartment. It was a forty-five minute drive, unless there was something wrong, then he could make it in fifteen. It left some time for thoughts to fester. And as it happened, they were usually thoughts that shouldn't be on his mind.

He'd often consider turning around and telling her everything. How beautiful she was. How he only took this job to be around her. That he wanted to be with her. How everyday it bothered him to leave. How he wanted to protect her always. And then, his thoughts would drift toward how it could never work. Or, how stupid and absurd the thought was. The protector of peace and promoter of pacifism with a man who's past was filled with nothing but death, destruction, and war. The press would eat that up.

Then, they'd return to the happier thoughts. He'd manage to convince himself that it could work, and that it would be incredible.

His thoughts would wander from there, usually ending on a positive note as he arrived at home. And there, they'd stay until he went to sleep. On days like this, he'd have a slight variation of the same dream. It'd start with Relena and himself out somewhere, just enjoying each other's company. They'd share a kiss and then things would go dark. Sometimes it was a mobile suit and others it would be an assassin. They'd aim for Heero, scream something about getting their revenge, but she would jump out in front of him. Past that point, he didn't know how it ended; He'd wake up in a cold sweat instead. Afraid to go back to sleep, he'd begin looking over old reports to keep himself occupied until it was time to return to the office. This night was no different.

After his shower, Heero looked into the mirror. This was the fourth time this week he'd found himself in this position. The dream progressed each time he had it. She had actually gotten shot this time.

A glance at the clock told him it was 3:30. Time to go to work. There wasn't anymore time to ponder about this.

On the lowest floor of Relena's office building, where her security was located, in the break room, the two guards from before sat drinking their coffee.

"Man, I told you it was a bunch of bull. Nothing even happened last night. That was a fucking waste of time."

"Hey, I understand man, but you'd better watch it, man. Yuy will get on your case again. I don't care that he's younger; he scares the shit out of me."

"Fuck Yuy. He's just a--"

"He's just a what?" a familiar voice called from the coffee machine.

The man cleared his throat and looked away.

The friend slowly turned around, realizing just who must be behind him. Unfortunately for him, his right jaw met with the right fist of an irritated, sleep-deprived Heero Yuy.

Heero looked down at the man lying on the floor as he stirred his coffee. "Good morning."

Heero sat down in his chair and set his coffee down as he began skimming through the files on his desk. Most were just reports that some of the guards typed up from the preceding night. The rest were locations of events that the Vice Foreign Minister was expected to attend. He'd look at these later, he had to go pick up the princess and carry on with his daily routine.

------

It was mid-March when Heero approached his two month anniversary of taking his position as Relena's personal guard. By now, his dreams had advanced much further, and were occurring every night. He was restless and could barely focus on anything. In short, he was a wreck. His anxiety nipped at him constantly. Everywhere he went, he felt like someone was watching him, and something was going to happen. And the feeling doubled when he was with Relena, which, as the job required, happened to be about 90% of his time. He couldn't go on too much longer like this.

"Heero?"

He snapped his attention to Relena. He'd fallen half asleep in his seat.

"Heero, are you alright?" She knew what his answer would be, but she asked anyway. He looked exhausted.

"Hn. I'm fine." He paused for a moment, deciding what to say. He wanted to avoid further questioning on his state. He didn't want her to know. "Did you need something?"

"Not really." He'd avoided the subject again. She'd tried earlier in the week to see if there was something wrong, but he'd done the same. She wanted to try to turn the conversation back around, but she couldn't find the words. "How much longer until we arrive home?"

"About ten minutes or so."

"Alright. Thank you." She watched as he drifted back into his half-sleep state. He looked so fragile and innocent to her. Like there had been no chance that this man was ever involved in any violence ever. And as if he just needed someone to take care of him. She smiled as she crawled across the seats of the limo to where he had sat down. She'd been thinking a lot lately, ever since she'd noticed this change in him. She wanted to take care of him, now more than ever. She always felt the need to, but he actually needed her to now. Or so she told herself. Either way.

She kneeled before him and caressed the side of his face as she prepared to do something she'd never had the courage to do before.

Heero awoke to a set of foreign lips on his face. He shuddered, having just gotten to the point in his dream where they shared a kiss.

Pulling away, she looked to the side, ashamed. "I'm sorry…" she whispered. "I just…"

Heero was breathing rapidly now.

"Heero? Are you… okay?" Her voice grew more concerned and she took hold of his shaking hands. "What's wrong? Heero?"

He worked to calm his breathing down. It didn't help much, his was growing more anxious every second. Had they just… kissed? 'The dream…'

"Heero?"

He didn't hear her. He was busy contemplating. Was something going to happen to her now? What if his dream was true? It was crazy to consider such a thing, but what if…? He'd had it so many times! They were so vivid and seemed so real! If something happened to her…

"Heero!"

He fell from his daze and looked into the face of a concerned Relena. "Relena."

She smiled. "Are you going to be okay? What was that? I'm sorry if I…"

"No, it's alright." He paused. "Everything's… alright." He'd make it alright. There was only one thing for him to do, only one way to make sure.

------

Relena awoke the next morning tired. She'd gotten next to no sleep the night before. Her concern for Heero consumed her thoughts, just about as much as what she actually did! She'd wanted to kiss him a thousand times, but, she never could. And the one time she did, he flipped out. That couldn't have been it though, she told herself. There was something going on. She'd ask him today. He wasn't going to avoid the subject.

As she prepared to leave for work, and unfamiliar guard met her at the door.

'What?' She gave the guard a confused look.

"Are you ready, Vice Foreign Minister?"

"Um…" She looked around, looking for him. This wasn't normal. The guard began to look impatient. "Sorry. I… where's my normal escort?"

The guard began pushing her along. "I'm your new personal guard. Mr. Yuy quit."

Relena dropped her briefcase and starred at the guard. "What?!"

------

End chapter one.

So, how's it going so far? Do you like it? Hate it? Do you have any suggestions? Do you just wanna say 'hi'? You know, it's not healthy to keep things inside, as our protagonist is showing us. So you should speak your mind. So, hit the little review button. Voice your opinion. ;D Be heard! …by me and the four other people who will read this ;; Bye now!


	2. The Decision

Disclaimer: Still not rich. Still not mine.

Big thanks to CrimsonDragon010, Sarah, and crystal-gundam for reviewing n.n I _like_ reviews.

Chapter Two: The Decision

After Heero convinced Relena that he was okay, a rather lengthy process he soon found, he climbed into his car and left, ignoring her calls for him to stay. He couldn't stay. In fact, he wasn't sure if being around her at all was a good idea anymore. Just how safe was her keeping her anyway? There weren't too many people left that wanted to see Relena's ideals demolished, and those who did were either imprisoned already or too helpless to do anything. There were to his knowledge, however, people who despised the Gundam pilots. People fueled by rage and vengeance. Soldiers and family members of deceased soldiers who lost everything after the war; who were so caught up in their own sorrow that they blindly lashed out at the Gundam's pilots, who most others called heroes. They blamed them for everything.

Quite convinced that he was more of a threat to her than anything, Heero began devising his plan. Something he was great at. It didn't take long and by the time he reached his apartment, he had all the details worked out. He'd take the first shuttle to L1 in the morning, and secure her safety. The further away he was, he assured himself, the better off she'd be.

Within an hour, his flight was secured, his luggage packed, and all traces of where he was going covered. And then, without a second thought, he left. Leaving no remnant of his existence behind.

------

Relena didn't go to the office that day. After hearing that Heero had quit, she returned to her room and stayed there. She had no business trying to function in the real world today.

A few hours passed and she grew tired of starring out the window. No matter how long she stared, his car wasn't going to be in it's usual spot. He wouldn't be there. She let out a long sigh and slowly stood from the cushion on her bay window. She felt alone and abandoned, and it made her mad.

In the corner, on the opposite wall, there was a table and chair. In the chair was a tiny, worn out, brown teddy bear. She walked to the chair and lifted the bear up, starring at it. She thought about all the nights she had spent holding that bear, waiting for the person who gave it to her to return. It'd been a while since she'd felt the need to hug it…

Relena hurled the stuffed bear across the room and fell to her knees sobbing. Why had he left? Why all of a sudden? Had it been because she kissed him? Had she gone too far? Was it that big of a deal? Why did he leave her again? Just… why?

She didn't have the answers. Nothing made sense to her.

------

Heero handed the woman standing at the counter his ticket and boarded his flight. Today, he was Travis Arrington. He'd change it again when he got to L1. He smirked. 'It feels like the old days…' That's how he used to do it then. When he was finished, not even the other pilots would be able to track him down. But, that's how it would have to be. For her.

It was a long flight, and he'd yet to get any sleep. He was a little afraid to, but the drowsiness was too intense. He hadn't slept in a long time. The engines lulled him to sleep as they took off into space.

For the first time in over a month and a half, Heero didn't have the same reoccurring nightmare. Instead, he had a new one.

Heero walked down a long, empty hall. There was nothing ahead of him and nothing behind. Just emptiness. He found himself smiling as he began hearing cries behind him, telling him to stop or slow down. It was her voice. She was running after him, but she wasn't catching up to him at all. The smile remained painted on his face as the voice grew faint, and he continued to walk forward.

After a sharp cry, the voice stopped and he looked to find her on the ground, crying and cradling her leg as if she'd fallen. She seemed closer now. He began to retrace his steps backwards to go and help, but he couldn't. As hard as he struggled, he couldn't make his legs move. He stood there, helplessly, watching her sob.

He then tried to call out to her. To get her to come to him, but he found his voice was gone. 'What the hell…' As he continued to grapple with himself, he noticed something creeping behind her. He tried to yell again, in vain. He couldn't warn her. The dark figure grinned devilishly and pulled out a pistol. 'NOOO!' He thrashed about, but he was stuck there. Powerless.

"Sir?" The flight attendant gently shook the sleeping Heero, who was squirming in his seat and yelling out, disturbing the other passengers. "Sir, are you alright?"

Heero's eyes shot open as he grabbed the woman's wrist. "Relena!"

The frightened flight attendant struggled to free her wrist. "Sir!"

Heero looked around at all the eyes starring at him and let go of the woman's wrist.

The woman jerked her hand away. "Sir…" she paused to catch her breath and compose herself. "We will be arriving soon. Please fasten your lap belt."

He sighed and did as he instructed. 'Just a dream?' He didn't understand. She was going to be safe now. So, why did he have this new nightmare? He'd done the right thing. The only thing. Right?

------

End chapter two.

A bit short, but I limited myself a bit with that title. And, I didn't feel like dragging that out too far. That would just be silly. Oh well, it only means that I get to start a new chapter! n.n And, it should have a bit more length to it


	3. Seclusion

Disclaimer: Not my stuff. If it was, I'd be making profit from this. And as my bank account's balance is currently indicating: I'm not. :D

Chapter Three: Seclusion

It'd been a week now. He wasn't Travis Arrington anymore. He was just a face in the crowd, living in a small apartment in one of the ghettos deep in the L1 colony cluster. No one asked who he was or about his story. Just another face. And it didn't really matter, he supposed. Why should it?

After his shuttle had landed, Heero quickly navigated his was to this particular apartment building. He had thought of it immediately when he'd first make the decision to come. In all the years he'd lived on L1, this had been the place he slipped into when things got hectic. No one ever bothered looking for people in this area. There was no point in it. People here didn't want to be found, and they usually weren't. It suited the situation.

The building owner didn't ask for a name when Heero asked for a room. He gave him a set of keys and told him rent was due on the first of each month. And here he was. There wasn't a line in to connect his computer to, but he quickly solved that problem. And before he knew it, he had settled in.

He had some money with him that he'd saved, but he knew it wouldn't last forever, so, he got a job with a construction crew. Things weren't too bad. He had his job to help pass the time, and he was usually so exhausted when he returned home that falling asleep became a problem of the past. He still had nightmares, however.

They weren't the same though. In fact, he never had the same one. They were all different except for one thing: they always involved her. Always. Something always happened to her and it was always his fault. 'Why?' He couldn't figure it out.

------

It'd been a week. Relena returned to the office after the second day. She couldn't stay locked up forever. People needed her to make decisions. Lots, she soon found. Two days of absence left her with some overtime. It was amazing how much stuff was piled onto her desk in just two days time. It didn't matter though. Why should it? She had nothing better to do. He'd disappeared again.

She felt like forgetting. Doing so was an entirely different matter. Two years was hard to throw away. 'Stop it, Relena. You _can _forget. You are strong. Look at where you are! Look at who you are! You can forget one tiny person.' That's what she told herself, day in and day out, hoping it would work. It wasn't like she could talk to anyone about it anyway. This, she'd have to do alone.

As it approached midnight, Relena decided to call it a day. She only had a small stack left, and she could finish the rest later. She'd wanted to have all her makeup paperwork done, but all her thinking and brooding had turned a two day job into five.

"Miss Peacecraft?"

Relena looked to the door. It was her new security guard, Larry. She didn't like Larry. "Yes?" she called out over the room.

"Are you ready to depart, Miss Peacecraft?"

Things were so formal with him. With Heero, well… they were on more friendly terms. And she was comfortable around him. Larry was just like everyone else that ever spoke to her. Proper. Respectful. Dead inside. She picked up her briefcase and let out a short yawn. "I suppose. It is getting a bit late." She smiled, hoping she might get some human reaction from her next comment. "No one likes a cranky Vice Foreign Minister." He didn't even crack a smile. Relena sighed.

Larry waited as she exited the office, holding the door for her. Then, he instructed her to stay close, as all good security guards should. She did, but she didn't care to. What was the point?

Relena returned to the office the next day, a little late, but rested and ready to take on the last stack of papers. She shouldn't get anymore today, it was Saturday and most people were nice enough to give her a break. So, she had that last stack and then she'd be done. She hoped. Things slipped through sometimes.

Upon entering her office, Relena found a familiar face sitting in her chair.

"Dorothy."

"Ah! Miss Relena!" the blonde directed her attention to the one who's seat she'd stolen. "A pleasure!"

"As always." Relena walked to her desk and sat down as Dorothy surrendered the chair.

"You never returned my call. In fact, you haven't returned any of them." She handed Relena a stack of post-it notes that read "call Dorothy."

Relena sighed. "I've been busy. You should have seen the stack of papers I had to get through." She paused. There really wasn't an excuse for not calling. She just hadn't wanted to. She couldn't tell her that though. "I'm sorry."

Dorothy sat on Relena's desk and sighed. "It's okay, Miss Relena."

"So why were you calling anyway?" she asked as she counted the folders on her desk. There were more. 'Ugh…'

"Well… if you recall, you are throwing a party in two weeks and we were supposed to be planning it." She picked up a pen and examined it before looking over to Relena, who seemed to have not heard her. "Remember?"

"Oh… that's right." She'd totally forgotten about it. She was having a party celebrating the 'time of peace' that she'd supposedly led. She really didn't care too much for it, but, it was a publicity thing. People liked to hear about it.

"So…" Dorothy put the pen down. "Want to get started? We can go shopping for dresses first if you want."

Shopping could uplift her spirits, she thought. Maybe. With a half-smile, Relena stood from her chair and gave her friend a nod. "Sounds good."

------

It was time for lunch at the construction site. There weren't many places to sit on the high beams of the skeleton like building, so Heero was forced to sit near his co-workers. They were nice enough people, he just didn't feel like talking.

"Whatcha got ther' Bruce?" one of the men asked his co-worker as he compared his sandwich to Bruce's. "Your gal spoils your ass! Man, I'd kill for a girl who'd make me a sandwich like that!"

Bruce chuckled. "Yeah, I got me a good girl."

"Wait until you're married," one of the older guys chimed in. "You won't get sandwiches like that anymore."

The men laughed. Heero even managed to grin a little.

"Hey, you, new guy," Bruce called over to Heero. "You got a girl at home waitin' for you?"

He didn't hesitate. "No." He was lying. He knew that Relena was probably waiting for him to return, but, he'd rather not get into it now. He was trying to forget.

"No, huh? Hrm. Well, that's a shame. I never would have guessed. Oh well, keep your chin up and your eyes open. You'll find a girl to make you a better lunch one day," he glanced at Heero's sorry excuse for a sandwich: peanut butter and jelly. "One like this!" He held his sandwich up for them all to see and they all laughed again.

Heero didn't.

That night turned out to be a restless one. That obnoxious sandwich metaphor wouldn't leave his head. He sat up in his bed and turned to the little table he had set up for his laptop next to it. With a few strokes of the keys, he had his security camera program running. The picture was a little fuzzy, but he could still see. He switched through a couple cameras, not finding anything and then switched to the ones he had in her office. 'What the…' What was Relena doing awake at this hour?

He smiled. Hard at work as always. She looked tired though. And not just because it was late, she just looked like she wasn't doing too well. It made his heart sink a little, but he knew it was for the best. She'd be better off without him around. A lot better. The thought was interrupted by another figure on the screen. Dark black suit. Sunglasses. Pistol tucked away. Her new security guard. He switched to another camera. Relena didn't look too enthused to see him. 'Who is that anyway…?' Another camera change revealed the answer. "That moron?!" He couldn't believe it. They gave his position to that ignorant punk he'd greeted with a punch the other morning. The man who didn't think they needed security took over his position?

The following day, Heero picked up his last paycheck. He didn't trust that guy one bit. And so, he began spending his days watching his cameras and hacking into the data base. He'd left because he thought she'd be more safe. Larry the moron was _not_ more safe.

------

Relena placed the phone back on the receiver as she said goodbye to Dorothy. She wasn't thinking about anything they'd talked about. Not the party tomorrow. Not the guests. Not even about the gorgeous dress she'd bought. Not at all. Only Heero.

Her restlessness had grown ten fold in the past week. It'd been three. She anxiously watched the door, waiting, hoping for him to walk through it. She needed him. Didn't he know that?

With a long sigh, Relena turned to her window and peered out over the city. One could only stare at one object for so long. She leaned back into her chair. Then began her reflection of the night he'd left.

He'd calmed down by the time they reached her estate. His eyes still darted around wildly, but he wasn't convulsing anymore. Instead, she was the one shaking. He'd gazed at her softly, seeming to take in all that he could as if he'd never get to do so again.

"Goodbye, Relena." He cupped his hand on her chin and rubbed his thumb across her cheek before he turned to leave.

"Wait…" she'd been confused. "Where are you going?"

He pulled his car keys out from his pocket, keeping his back facing her. "Away."

Tears swelled up in her eyes. Moments ago, he'd been in her arms, trembling. Now, he was as cold as ever. "When? Why? What's wrong? Heero… you can tell me! Don't keep it inside…"

He started walking towards his car. "Everything's going to be fine…"

She watched as he reached his car and silently opened the door to get in. The lump in her throat barely allowed her to speak. "Don't go… please…"

He looked at her from behind the car. "I'll be back when you need me." He paused, maintaining his stoic stare. "Just like before."

That's when he'd left. "_But I always need you…_" she repeated that final line that he'd never heard to herself. She'd thought about it a thousand times, but that last conversation they had didn't add up. Nothing he'd said explained his spazzing out, or his sudden urge to leave. She hadn't even believed him that night. But he **did** leave. Just like that. Just like he said. She still didn't understand. She wouldn't have time to figure it out, either. The phone rang again.

------

Heero finished reading through the final security report for Relena's party. It was a day away and the report he read was… insufficient, to say the least. And he couldn't recall seeing Relena's new personal guard anywhere near her in the last hour. In fact, he wasn't in the building. Not that he cared what happened to the moron, but he didn't like Relena to be alone.

He let out a frustrated sigh. She'd probably be better off without him around anyway. If anything, he'd get in the way. Relena could handle it if something happened. And if she couldn't, he'd be there as soon as he could.

------

End chapter three.

Wow, the first chapter that didn't end with a question n.n;; I noticed that as I was reading through it all once more. Anyway, if things end up working according to the outline I've made up, the fun stuff should be next, followed by fluff, more fun, and then a conclusion! Whee!!

As always, I enjoy your feedback. As a matter of fact, it's already influenced some decisions I've made so far. Keep 'em coming!

--

Footnote: The line "_I'll be back when you need me_," was taken from the graphic novel, Endless Waltz.


	4. Promises

Disclaimer: Not my stuff. Don't sue.

BIG thanks to everyone who has reviewed Especially all of you that have reviewed more than once :D I love you guys!

Chapter Four: Promises

Relena hit the snooze for the third time. Later, her house would be filled with diplomats, world leaders and some of the most powerful, wealthy and respected people alive. There was only so much time to get ready. She needed to get up and start preparing. She didn't care. Right now, she just wanted to sleep, and continue sleeping. Because when she slept, she didn't have to face things. In her dreams, things were perfect. She wasn't in the spotlight constantly. No one cared about every detail of her life. No one expected her to be okay all the time. People didn't hang on her **every** word. But most importantly, _he_ was around.

With a heavy sigh, Relena turned off the noisy alarm and sat up in her bed. This wasn't her dream world. She had to get up. She had to face the world with a cheerful smile, so that they could smile. People heard what she had to say. They cared. That's the way it _had_ to be. This was her reality. But the harshest part, the part she had the most trouble with: She had to accept that he was gone.

Gone. But was he really? Relena spent most of her morning thinking about it. '_I'll be back when you need me…_' She thought back to when he'd originally said that to her. It'd been shortly after Libra had been destroyed. She'd been busy, traveling around all the time, but he followed and kept watch, while occasionally stopping by to say 'hi.' Soon though, things settles down. She traveled less and didn't need so much security. The world was accepting the move towards peace. They'd tried just being friends and hanging out, but he was restless all the time. He started visiting less, and the next thing she knew, he'd left. Leaving only that phrase to haunt her memory.

But, he **did** return, when she'd been kidnapped by Mariemaia. He'd kept his promise. What a promise. To pop in and out of her life. Appearing only when she was in danger. Didn't he realize that she needed him more than just when people were threatening her? He kept her grounded. She felt at ease with him near. And not just because he was her own personal killing machine, a knight in shining armor ready to be called to save her whenever she needed him: she just enjoyed being around him. His calm approach to life helped her when things got stressful.

Why didn't he see that? She supposed it was because he only considered himself a soldier. Only good at fighting. And only useful with a gun in his hand. She didn't think of him that way, though. He was more than that to her. Much more…

It was funny, she thought. She'd spoken in front of countless numbers of people. Preached her views to the world. Led them into this so-called new era. All of this, but she couldn't tell one person how she really felt. Not that she hadn't thought about if before. A limitless number of times, in fact. She could just never summon the courage…

"Releeena?" Dorothy called to her, breaking her train of thought.

"Hrm?" Relena turned to her. 'Dorothy looks so excited…' They were supposed to be working together on this, but Dorothy had done most of the work: It was her party more than Relena's.

"The caterer just arrived and they are setting up right now. So…" she paused. "Now, we can get ready. Guests will be arriving in about one hour."

Was it four already? The day had passed by so fast. "Wonderful." She smiled. "Thank you so much. Miss Dorothy, I don't know what I would have done without you."

Dorothy returned the smile and they each left to get ready.

------

Relena glimpsed in the mirror. Downstairs, guest had started flocking inside. She needed to go greet them. 'Smile,' she reminded herself as she turned to make the trip downstairs to the ballroom where they'd be waiting. After a short trip, Relena found herself at the entrance to the back of the ballroom. She glanced around and smiled as she found that Lady Une and Mariemaia had made it. They hadn't visited in a while; She'd talk with them first.

"Everyone…" They crowd grew silent and turned their attention to their adored minister. "Thank you so much for coming here today. I--"

The main door to the ballroom flew open. Twenty men armed with automatic weapons stormed in, interrupting Relena's greeting. As the crowd screamed, they quickly took formation and surrounded them, leaving no room for escape.

Relena glared. "Who are you people?!" She couldn't see their faces. They had them covered with dark handkerchiefs and sunglasses. "Answer me!" She was infuriated. She wanted to know who they were, what they wanted, and what business they had with her.

The leader of the group have a hand signal to his comrades. They dispersed, leaving about eight in the room and the others left to carry out different tasks. The leader took a few steps towards Relena and stopped. "I need your phone."

------

It didn't take long for it to get out. Every television station was broadcasting it. The terrorist group, "Epyon de Telos," had occupied the Sanc Kingdom Castle, and they wanted three things: the right to bear arms; the release of their imprisoned comrades; and one-third of the E.S.U.N.'s budget as ransom. And if they didn't get all three within twenty-four hours, they planned to detonate a nuclear warhead.

Newscasters flocked to the Sanc Kingdom, against the wishes of the police there, of course. They were trying to _clear_ the area of all civilians and the media was _drawing_ more.

As the tension outside began rising, Relena worked to calm her guests. They'd been herded into a smaller, interior room, void of windows. Needless to say, even with the assurance from the calming voice of Relena, people were weary of the outcome.

Relena found her way to Une and her miniature companion.

"Miss Relena!" the young girl called out.

She smiled and gave the girl a hug before looking to Lady Une. "It's good to see you."

"Yes, but unfortunate that we're meeting under these circumstances."

Relena could only nod. This whole thing was a mess.

Une looked around and then to the pair of guards keeping them locked in the room. "A party celebrating peace turned into this. How could they even consider doing this? The nerve…"

Mariemaia then chimed in. "Well, this was quite the opportunity for them, don't you think?"

The two older women looked to the child.

"All these leaders here… it was an obvious choice. They have the whole world looking at them. They can do whatever they want."

Une nodded solemnly. "You're right."

She _was_ right. Relena had never considered that this gathering could become a target. Never in a million years. 'He would have… Security would have been so high. They wouldn't have even made it onto the compound…' Relena stopped herself. She'd just realized something: She really hadn't noticed **any** security in place today, just a few guards at the gate and door, but those were always there. And she hadn't even seen Larry…

"Miss Relena?"

Relena looked to Mariemaia. "Hm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Of course." Relena forced a smile onto her face. "Why would you ask?"

"Last time…" she paused. "Well, last time something like this happened, you didn't look so worried. In fact, I don't remember you being scared the entire time we held you captive."

'What?' "Well, I… uh…" She was at a loss of words. What did you say to that? When a child more than half your age read the lines of worry on your face? Luckily for Relena, the sounds of the door opening stole the attention from her. The two guards that had been keeping watch were replaced by two new guards. The voice of one of them caught Relena's immediate attention. It sounded… familiar. 'Where have I heard that voice before?'

------

The news of the occupation of the Sanc Kingdom had just began appearing on the news in the colonies. Heero was already on his way to the space port. She needed him.

------

End chapter four.

Eek. Another shorty. Oh well n.n Was a Relena-esque chapter. Heero will occupy most of the next. And then… well, I'll stop there. n.n Oh! And while I have it on mind, I'm planning on ending this somewhere around 8 chapters. So this is just about half-way! Whee! I'm excited :D

As always, I love hearing what you have to say. So, clickity the review button and speak n.n

--

Footnote: Details about the terrorists group and certain dialogue were taken from "Preventor 5," the last section of the graphic novel, Gundam Wing: Episode Zero.


	5. Guilt

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of it's characters. So, leave me alone :D

Chapter Five: Guilt

Heero impatiently watched as the other passengers boarded the shuttle. Didn't they know that some people had places they needed to be? 'Hurry up!!' He sighed and sunk back into his seat. He knew this was his fault. He shouldn't have left. What an idiot he'd been for thinking that leaving was a _good_ idea. He should have at least waited until this party was over. He had no business leaving the responsibility of something like this on anyone…

No. This wasn't his fault. It was Larry's incompetence. That idiot didn't know how to put together a good security plan. Not one good enough for Relena, at least. Then again, he didn't think that anyone in that building should be trusted with her safety other than him. They were all merely backup to him. Just people behind the scenes that took care of all the little things. He gave the orders and they jumped to it. They were nothing to him.

So why did he leave? Heero began thinking about it. Last time he had a real reason to leave her: to help the Preventors. They had needed help with some project, and Relena didn't need him to play hero in the shadows. But this time, well… a bad dream drove him away. A dream. How lame? He would have punched something if he didn't think they'd kick him off the flight.

'You're an idiot, Yuy.'

If anything happened to her, he could never forgive himself. She wasn't just a mission to him. In fact, she was the only mission he hadn't completed. He was supposed to kill her, but he never could. There was just something about her, something he grew to want to protect. She was a precious gift to the world, but was fragile and needed protection. And he swore to give her that protection. To be there whenever she needed him. He'd failed. Twice now. He couldn't kill her and he couldn't save her. What a protector.

It wasn't too late, he thought. But _what if _he didn't make it on time? 'Stop it, Yuy.' He would make it. But what would she say? Hell, what would he say to her? Nothing. There was nothing to say. Well, nothing he would be able to say. He was horrible at putting things into sentences. Things. Feelings. Emotions. He'd always made decisions based on his emotions, but when it came to putting feelings for others into words, he just couldn't do it. Another thing he failed to be able to do.

Far too frustrated to hold it in any longer, Heero punched the seat in front of him, sending it's owner into a forward jerk. Moments later, Heero was met with a pair of angry eyes. Following the glare was a string of four-letter words. They were soon silenced by a famous Yuy death glare. Heero sighed and decided it would be best for everyone if he got some shut-eye.

"Mr. Yuy! A statement please!"

"How does it feel?"

"Mr. Yuy!"

Heero covered his eyes from all the flashbulbs that were going off. 'What's going on?' He pushed his way through the mass of reporters and cameras. It looked like he was outside Relena's house, but he couldn't tell for sure. He only wanted to find out what he was doing. Something was pulling him in this direction. But what?

The throng of people seemed to go on for eternity; He didn't think he'd ever get out. Then, a break in their numbers suddenly appeared. After a short sprint, Heero reached the base of the steps that lead to the door of Relena' mansion. He peeked behind him: the reporters had vanished. When he turned around, he found that the stairs had taken an elongated form.

'What the hell?' Heero sighed. 'Better get to it, Yuy.' He then began his ascent. Mid-way through, images from his memories began floating around him. All memories of Relena.

Heero reached the top with a smile on his face. He felt like he'd just re-lived every pleasant moment he'd ever had. It was a good feeling.

As he reached the door, it swung open. Inside, Heero was met with another, only smaller, group of cameras and reporters. They were encircled around something. Heero forced his way through them.

The smile fell from his face.

Relena lied on the ground, dead from a shot to the chest. Heero screamed out her name and rushed to her to kneel down and cradle her limp form. There was nothing he could do for her. 'How'd this happen?'

"Live, from the Darlian estate, this is Lisa Torringson. Earlier today, Vice Foreign Minister Darlian was found dead. Let's have a word with the man responsible." The reporter shoved her microphone in Heero's direction.

Heero's face was painted with confusion. This was his fault? How the hell? "No! I'm not! I couldn't be! I…" Heero pointed to the top of the staircase. "It's his fault!"

The dark figure from previous dreams appeared where he'd pointed, grinning as he always did.

"Like I said," she started. "You're responsible."

"What?!"

Heero awoke to another flight attendant shaking him.

"Sir--"

"Lap belt. Yeah… I know." Heero reached to fasten the belt, but found it was on.

"Actually, sir. We've already landed. You need to exit the shuttle."

"Oh."

Heero gathered his on-board bags and exited the shuttle. He was confused as to how he'd managed to sleep through the landing, but that thought was soon overthrown as he began thinking about this new dream.

It had been different from all the others. In the others, he'd watch whatever happened, powerless to help. In this one, he found her… He couldn't bring himself to think about it. She wasn't going to get hurt, he vowed. 'I'll make sure of it.'

------

Heero arrived at a house nearby the Peacecraft mansion nearly three hours prior to the deadline. He'd done a little research on his laptop, before he "borrowed" a car, and found that the other pilots had met here.

Apparently, Sally and Wufei had rounded the others up shortly after the Preventors had found out and brought them all here. Heero had considered going in and taking care of this alone, since he partially blamed himself, but he wanted to see what they had planned. Besides, it'd be easier with five than with just one.

Heero parked his vehicle and walked into the building, acknowledging he nods of guards as he entered. He'd made sure to wear his Preventor's jacket to avoid any wasting of his time with questioning. He stopped only to find out which room the others were in.

As he approached the room, he could hear them speaking inside. Quatre was explaining something to Wufei when Sally entered through another door, interrupting him.

------

"I couldn't find Heero **anywhere**," she said, with a disappointed look on her face.

"Oh," Quatre started as he gave her a confident, reassuring smile. "Heero couldn't sit still at a time like **this**…"

"Huh?" She was confused. They looked like they knew something she didn't.

"He's already **here**," Wufei said as a door to the side shut.

Sally turned to find Heero standing there.

"Let's hear it."

------

The next thirty minutes were spent listening to what Trowa and Duo had found as they surveyed the castle, and Quatre's plan of action. The plan was simple enough: don't kill anyone and save the hostages. Trowa would infiltrate the castle and sneak into the monitor room to broadcast a fake image to the monitor screens. Wufei and Sally would deliver the ransom money. Sally would then get shot by Duo, who would be posing as a berserk guard. In the commotion, Wufei would escape to meet with Quatre, who would enter through the basement. Duo would be confined as a rebel and taken to where the hostages were. If they took him somewhere else, Quatre had a plan B. Heero was plan B.

They had a fake Wing Zero made. It couldn't fire any weapons, but the guards wouldn't know that. From there, Quatre and Wufei would take care of the twenty guards, and Heero would meet up with Trowa to save the hostages after they freed Duo. Simple.

"Alright, let's go!" Duo shouted out.

The others nodded.

"Good luck, everybody," Quatre said as he left to begin his trip through the underground passages.

Duo soon followed to go find a guard whose clothes he could steal, whining about how he didn't want his job, and how he didn't want them to tie him up and throw him into some closet. He left giving Heero a death glare, promising to get him back good if he didn't come get him quick.

Trowa left with Duo, stopping to tell Heero to scare Duo a little by taking his sweet time.

Heero smirked. He'd missed being around familiar faces the past three weeks. It was nice to see these guys again, even if it was for a mission.

"So, where's this mobile suit?"

"We'll show it to you on the way out. Let's get going."

They led Heero to a make-shift hanger they'd constructed out in the forest. Inside, mechanics were rushing about, finishing up some last minute things. As he looked over the fake Gundam, a feeling of nostalgia swept over Heero. Looking at it brought back so many memories. Ones he'd like to forget.

Sally looked to Heero. "So, whatdya think? Did we do a good job?"

Heero nodded. It looked remarkingly similar to his Wing Zero. There were a few things he noticed were off, but he decided not to say anything. It really didn't matter that much. "It looks convincing."

"Good. That's what we're going for." A black SUV pulled up for them. Wufei quickly climbed in and impatiently stared at Sally who was talking to Heero still. "Just remember to listen to your radio. There's a good chance Duo won't get put with the--" Sally caught Wufei's glare. "Right. Okay. Well, good luck, Heero."

He nodded as she climbed into the SUV and they peeled off. He spent a few moments after that inspecting the machine before climbing into the cockpit to configure the settings. He did so knowing that he may not be needed and what he was doing could be a waste of time, but it gave him something to occupy himself with while he waited. Otherwise, he figured he'd end up thinking about things again. He was sick of thinking.

------

End chapter five.

Good? Bad? Tell meh! n.n You know, I said this would be high in fluff, but I just haven't seemed to get too much in yet --;;; Perhaps the reunion can be uber-fluffy :D Anyway, I just wanted to assure you that I'd get there eventually! No false promises here. I'll update soon! Don't forget to review! n.n

--

Footnote: Detials and **lots** of dialogue were taken from "Preventor Five."


	6. Reunited

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Cliffhangers are a necessary evil. They build suspense ;D

And, for anyone who was wondering, there will be more interaction with other characters from now on :D

* * *

Chapter Six: Reunited

As it turned out, Heero was needed, so his preparations weren't in vain. He'd received a message from Duo saying they'd tied him up and thrown him into one of the first story bathrooms. He then added that he'd **really** get him back if he left him there. The rest of the group had carried out their missions successfully, so now it was left to Heero.

The cockpit closed and he stood the mech up. Workers scurried to safer areas and Heero took off. 'Time to save the day.' Heero soon found that the thing couldn't fly either, so he had to walk the entire way. Normally, this wouldn't bother him so much. But she was in danger. It was such a long walk.

"Heero! Are you on your way yet?!" the braided wonder called over the transmitter.

"Calm down, Maxwell," the Chinese pilot said before Heero could reply.

"You come sit in here tied up in the dark and SEE IF YOU STAY CALM!"

Trowa's chuckling could he heard. "Listen, I'll come get you."

"Really?! Great! It's nice to see that you're all not cold-**hearted**!"

"After Heero and I free the hostages."

"WHAT?!"

Various chuckles echoed over the radio.

"I hate you all."

* * *

Relena sat against the wall. They only had another hour and a half left. It had gotten to some of the people in the room. They were hysteric, and nothing she said could calm them down. Nothing. Someone had just finished screaming at her before she'd sat down. She was so tired. She didn't even feel like trying to convince them that there was some hope. In all honesty, she found herself thinking that there was none left either. If anyone came, wouldn't they just set off the bomb anyway?

She couldn't think about it anymore. That's all she'd been doing. It was just too much.

Was this the way she was going to end up spending her last hours on Earth? How lame was that? She hugged her knees to her chest and rested her head on them. She felt so… helpless.

A commotion near the door made her lift her head. Both guards left in a hurry, locking the door behind them. 'I wonder what that was all about…' She thought about going to see if she could get the door open, but convinced herself it was hopeless and there was no point in trying. Besides, a group of her peers were already pounding away at it. As she went to rest her head again, her attention was stolen. A voice was speaking over a loud speaker. She recognized it. 'Heero!?'

* * *

"I've come to bring you under control," boomed the voice from the mobile suit.

Below, guards had assembled outside. They looked to each other, unsure of what to do. Did they give up now? There was no way in hell they could take on a mobile suit or make it away in time. A bluff. "W-wait! We have a **nuclear weapon**! You'll be killed too!"

There was a short pause. "So what?" replied the cool voice. "That was my girl. It's not worth living anymore." He took a step forward and aimed his useless buster rifle at them.

The guards turned, bolted back into the house, and started for the nuclear shelter in the basement.

Heero smirked. "They're on their way, guys." With that, he jumped from the cockpit and rushed into the house.

"Roger that. We'll take care of them. Good job, Heero."

A few minutes later, Trowa called over the radio. "I've found them. They're in an interior room at the end of the hall to the ball room. I'm letting them out."

"Roger that, Trowa," came Quatre's voice. "Wufei and I have taken out the guards. They walked right into our trap, as planned."

"I'M STILL TIED UP! ONE OF YOU'D BETTER COME AND** GET ME OUTTA HERE**!!!"

Quatre chuckled. "We're on our way."

"That's right. Start acting like a man and not a weak child."

"Wu-man, you're first."

"Would be hard to attack if I didn't **untie** you."

"Shuddup!"

"I'm in route to the hostages."

"Roger that, Heero."

Heero turned a corner and was met with a large flock of hysteric people pushing their way down the small hallway. They went on for forever. Determined to find Relena, he fought his was through. He had to see that she was okay.

* * *

Relena wiped a tear from her eye. She was just so happy. So… relieved. They'd come and saved her. She wasn't going to die like that. And… well, what she thought she'd heard. She hoped that's what she heard. Had it really been Heero? Was he back? She had to see him. She tore her way through the mad rush of people. She was more frantic than they were, but she didn't care. He was back! And she was his _girl_.

* * *

"Heero!"

He looked to see where the voice had come from. Then, he saw a hand in the air. "Relena!"

"Heero!"

He started pushing forward more. These people needed to move; he'd lost sight of her. She'd fallen back into the crowd. "Relena?! Where are you?"

She was getting pushed around too much. She'd just seen him, and now he was out of sight again. This was horrible! All she wanted was to see him and all these people were in her way! "Heero! I'm right here!"

How long was this damn hallway? And how many people were in that room? 'Damn it!'

Relena found herself stuck behind some slower moving traffic. A few 'excuse me's and she squeezed her way through, right into Heero who'd been trying to get through, too.

Heero looked down to the blonde hair he'd ran into. There she was, all in one piece.

Relena looked up, smiling. It'd taken a while, but she'd found him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her face into his chest. "I'm so happy to see you!" She'd been so scared, and now, she was totally at peace.

He followed suit and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. Just seeing her standing there, alive, made him so relieved. He'd been so scared that he'd find her otherwise. "I'm glad you're alright."

"You know," she started after a moment. "I was so scared back there. I didn't think anyone was coming. I…" She looked up at him. "Then, I heard you."

She'd heard what? He thought for a moment. What could she be talking about? He couldn't--it hit him. She must be talking about the line Quatre had him say. The line supposed to be referring to Sally. Relena must have thought he'd meant her! He couldn't tell her that though. Could he? It would be easier to just let her think that he was talking about her. He gazed back at her, unsure of what to say. Tell her? Or continue to let her think so?

He looked a little surprised to her. He probably didn't think she'd heard him say it. Maybe she wasn't supposed to? She really didn't care. She **had** heard. Every word. "Heero?"

He needed to say something. Anything. Everything. He could tell her everything right now. He just… couldn't.

'Come on, say something…' She was hoping to get something started so she could tell him how she felt, but he wasn't helping. In fact, she thought, he would probably try to change the subject soon. She needed to say what she wanted before he did. This was her opportunity and she was going to take it. "Heero… did you mean it?" She looked directly into his eyes. "Is it not worth living without me?"

He hadn't meant her! Though… deep down, he knew that when he said it, he was thinking about Relena, not Sally. Whether or not what he said was intended for her or not, he really couldn't imagine living without her. "Relena…" He watched her eyes light up and then watched the glint fade as he stayed silent. 'Yes!' What couldn't he just say it? Why was this so hard?

He wasn't going to say anything. He was going to change the subject anyway. She lowered her eyes and began to pull away from him. This just wasn't going to work. She shouldn't have expected that much. She…

Unable to find the words, Heero leaned down and kissed her. It was the only way he could say everything he wanted without having to find the words. Maintaining their proximity, he looked her in the eye. He could say it now. There was nothing in his way. He _had_ to say it now. "Every word."

Relena wasn't sure which part of what just happened surprised her most: the kiss, or what he said! It was just too good to be true. Here she was, in the arms of the person she cared for most… kissing. Kissing? He was kissing her again. She didn't care. She kissed him back this time.

* * *

End chapter six.

Whee! A cute ending, no? But as usual, things won't stay this cute. Stay tuned for the next installment!

Author Note: Instead of adding my extended scene in this chapter, I'm just going to move it to the next chapter. There are a few reasons for this, but the main one is to keep you guys happy n.n; I've just been so lazy and lacked the motivation to write this weekend. But! You do have a new chapter, just not the one I intended to give you. And doing this keeps this chapter happy :D Yay for happiness.

Author Note Dos: I reposted this. This is chapter six, version two n.n;; Nothing major changed, just a few minor details at the end. If you read the first version, I'm sure you'll be able to pick out what I changed in the last scene. And now, I will explain myself. At first, I wasn't going to change it, after I realized my mistake. I always try to work with what I have. That's what I've done in all previous chapters n.n; I soon found, however, that I couldn't move on to the next chapter until I fixed this. It was gnashing at my brain. Eating away at every new thought I tried to come up with. And, as I conclude, I'd like to thank RedLion2 for pointing out my folly n.n;;; As much as I hate to admit when I'm wrong, thank you. :D


	7. The Morning After

Disclaimer: Just because I want it to be mine, doesn't mean it is.

I'm a lazy… well, lazy. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Took me long enough, didn't it? Would you believe me if I said it was another ploy to build suspense and not because I'm the laziest person alive? Didn't think so.

* * *

Chapter Seven: The Morning After 

Sirens rang throughout the castle. As the cameras flashed, Heero felt Relena squeeze his hand. She was about to give her official statement, and he could tell she was nervous. He rubbed his thumb over the top of her hand, just to reassure her that he was there. Because he was there, and he intended to stay.

She squeezed his hand again, took a deep breath and began. The chatter from the crowd gathered at her front door stopped, and they all listened, preparing their questions. He wasn't listening to her though, well not entirely. He was thinking and trying to ignore the voices in his earpiece, particularly Duo and Wufei, who were still going at it. Apparently, Duo was still tied up in that bathroom, and they couldn't figure out which one it was. Or so they said. As amusing as it was to hear Maxwell whine, he removed his earpiece and glanced at Relena as she began squeezing his hand again. The reporters were going to start asking questions next.

He felt strangely at ease standing there next to her. Like it was right. Like he belonged there. He'd always stood off to the side, but this was where he'd always wanted to be: at her side. And now, he felt like he could. He could stand in front of the world as her… well, whatever he was to her, and not worry about what they would think about it. About his past. About how scandalous it was. About anything. He knew that it felt right and that was all that mattered. His thoughts were interrupted by a much harder squeeze. Apparently, someone asked something that she didn't want to answer.

"Yes… yes, it is true that the leader of my security team did quit."

'Ah, that's what it was,' he thought. He looked to find the owner of the question.

"And do you feel that this is a direct result of that?"

Who the hell did that punk think he was? Heero wanted to go knock him out. What right did he have to ask that? Well, okay, so he did have the right. He still shouldn't have asked it. It wasn't that he thought he was wrong; he just didn't want to hear it. He felt bad enough about the whole situation. He sure as hell didn't need anyone to remind him.

Relena did her best to keep her composure, but, it was obvious to anyone that she was a little shaken by the question. Another reported piped up before she could regurgitate some response, but he was cut off by the first. "Miss Darlian, you didn't answer my question. I'm sure everyone here would like to know your thoughts."

Heero really wanted to punch him now.

Relena began to tense up. He knew why she didn't want to answer: this _was_ his fault. If he hadn't left, there'd been no chance of this happening. No one ever slipped through his security plans: they were perfect. Suddenly, this didn't feel so right. He didn't belong there. He didn't deserve to stand beside her.

"I… I, um, no," she paused and her voice became more steady and firm. "No, I don't."

'Don't lie, Relena…' She didn't need to lie on his behalf. She knew it was his fault.

"I do not feel that his absence caused this."

'Liar.'

"Are you sure?" the reporter continued. "Every attempt prior to this to cause any bit of chaos has been prevented. His presence is the only factor--"

"That's enough."

Heero glanced over to Relena. She was actually showing her frustration. Her cheeks were flushed and she was almost glaring.

"Miss Darlian, it's--"

"It's been a long day. I won't be answering any more questions right now. Excuse me."

The sea of reporters shouted questions but they were all ignored as the door closed behind the fuming blonde and her body guard.

------

Heero dropped Relena off at her room, promising to return shortly, and left to find the other pilots. Duo had been "found" and let out now, and they were all meeting in the hangar out in the forest. They were going to begin interrogating some of the terrorists, and Duo thought that maybe Heero wanted to be a part of it. He'd thrown in some stupid comment, involving that words "lovebirds" and "cute." Following it was an irritating "aww." Heero made a mental note to give braid-boy a friendly punch to the gut when he saw him.

Heero made it there fairly quickly, after making a quick stop to get the fake Gundam situated on a trailer. Once there, he was met with Sally and Quatre. Amused that Duo didn't have the guts to meet him, he greeted the two with a nod.

"Before you ask, it's going directly to the junk yard to be scrapped. Duo's having his guys take care of it. That way, no one will be able to try to do anything with it."

Heero nodded a second time. It was the logical thing to do; Quatre must have thought of it. "So, where are they?"

"We have the terrorists in a holding room in the back," Sally continued. "The others have already starting questioning."

"We've also begun I.D.ing them and running profile checks."

Heero again nodded in approval. "Good."

"Alright, let's go then. They're expecting us."

------

Heero rubbed his eyes and cracked his neck before pouring his coffee. It was now a quarter passed three. He'd been up since… he couldn't remember: It'd been a while, that he did know. After taking in the sweet aroma, he took a sip and returned to the hall where Trowa was standing. There, he looked through the glass into the questioning room.

"Is he having any luck with that one?"

Trowa shook his head. "Doesn't look that way."

As he drank some more, Heero began getting frustrated. Not only was this taking entirely too long, they weren't getting any new information. It was the same story: They were tired of being ignored. They wanted to be heard. And the nuclear weapon? A bunch of bs. They claimed they never intended to harm anyone. They were just desperate to be heard. Heero smirked. 'Right…' It was a likely story. He wished one of them would just spill it so he could get back to Relena. He had a promise to fulfill; they were going to make him break it. He took another sip from the mug and looked back into the room. Duo was slamming his fist on the table. "He won't get anywhere doing that."

Trowa smirked. "Yeah."

Heero then glanced to the terrorist. He was still in uniform, but his sunglasses and bandana had been removed. Standard procedure. As he scanned over the criminal, he felt a sense of familiarity. And then, then the man turned his head and Heero saw his face.

------

Surprised by the clatter, Trowa turned to where Heero had been standing to find a broken coffee mug on the floor. Another noise caught his attention. He looked back to the one-sided mirror to find the prisoner up against the wall by his collar, courtesy of Heero.

------

Heero was past the point of simply being angry: he was enraged. Duo couldn't pull him off. Trowa's assistance couldn't stop him either. He didn't even care that the person he had against the wall couldn't breath. He didn't deserve to.

"You fucking prick! You'd better start talking! And don't give me that bullshit you've all been reciting!"

Duo desperately pulled at Heero. "Maybe if you gave him some _AIR_!" He continued in vain. "Damn it, Heero! Get off of him! He's no use **dead**!"

It took several moments for the words to register and for him to let go. Hesitantly, Heero loosened his grip from the man's collar and let him drop to the floor.

The man, purple in complexion, gasped for air and retreated to the other side of the small room. "Maniac!"

"Maniac?" Heero clenched his fists. It was taking everything he had to hold himself back. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

Duo picked up the folder on the desk and responded in a matter-of-fact way. "Derrick Walbridge. He was an OZ foot soldier."

Heero's death glare still shot at the man. "So, I suppose Larry's just an alias then?"

------

Relena let out an exasperated sigh. She couldn't sleep. She didn't feel safe or secure enough to sleep. Sure, she was exhausted and her body was telling her that she should lie down, but she couldn't. She wanted him to come back. To reassure her that he wasn't going to go anywhere. He said he'd be back shortly. It was almost four in the morning. 'He's just gotten caught up with things. There's a lot of take care of right now. He'll be back when he's done.' She told herself that, but a part of her couldn't accept it. He'd begun acting distant after the reporter had made that comment, not that he was ever very close, but he just seemed further away. She couldn't remember him even looking her in the eye. Did he really think that this was his fault?

Yes. But, she didn't think it was. He wouldn't have left if he knew something like this would happen. So, what did happen wasn't something he couldn't have prevented. It wasn't his fault. It happened. He fixed it. End story. Why didn't he see it that way?

She started thinking about his reason for leaving again. She stopped a long time ago, convinced it was a waste of time, but it was eating away at her again. Just why did he leave in the first place?

Lost in thought, she rose from her spot on the window seal and walked across the room. Here she was, waiting for him to come back again. She felt like she'd been doing this all her life. She stopped near the wall by her closet and stooped down to pick something up. She returned to the window with a tiny, brown stuffed bear tightly nestled in her arms.

'Come back to me this time, Heero Yuy…'

------

Heero had calmed his rage enough now to convince Duo and Trowa that they could leave the room. They did so, hesitantly, and left him to take care of business.

He glared at "Larry." He knew what he _wanted_ to do, but Larry wouldn't be much help to him that way. Also, he'd promised not to. It was the first condition he agreed to when his partners consented to leaving the room. He paced around the room, angrily staring at the man sitting at the card table set up in the center. He was trying to find the words. 'Kicking his ass would be **so** much easier…' How was he going to do this? He was supposed to be finding out details of the terrorist group, but he just wanted to know about Larry's association with them. What were his motives? How long had he been involved? What the fuck was his problem?

"Are you going to ask me questions or not? Because if all you're going to do is stare at me, I'd like to be taken off to wherever now."

Heero stopped pacing and took the seat across from Larry. He would stay level-headed about this, no matter how much this guy pushed his buttons. He would stay clam. "Fine. Start talking."

"You haven't asked me a question."

'Calm. Calm. Stay calm…' Heero leaned back into his chair. "How'd you get involved? And when?"

"Why does it matter when?"

"Answer the question."

Larry gave a smirk. "Alright. A few months back--"

"When?"

He shot an annoyed look. "January. In January, I got a call from an old friend, asking if I could help him out with something."

Now we're getting somewhere, he thought. "What did he ask?"

Larry sighed. "They knew I worked on her security team. From the inside, they figured I could help. Put a hole in one of the plans. Allow them to slip through. I owed the guy a favor, so, I agreed." He paused and reached into his pocket to get a cigarette. "I had one hell of a time though, with you around. And when you left," he lit the cigarette and blew the smoke across the table into Heero's face. "I had my chance. Your resignation was the _perfect_ opportunity."

Knuckles white, Heero fought to stay on his side of the table.

"Then, they pulled some strings, and I was on top. And there you have it."

Heero was fuming. He was trying his patience to dangerously thin levels. If he said one more word, Heero was going to break his neck.

Larry chuckled and took another drag off his cigarette. "So, I guess… this was just as much my fault as yours. Ha. How ironic?"

------

The ambulance pulled away from the hanger.

"Was that _really_ necessary, Heero?" Trowa asked as he watched the flashing lights fade.

"You remember when I told you to follow your feelings?" He paused and turned to walk back inside. "It was after I self-destructed."

Trowa nodded. He remembered that clearly. "Yeah."

"I felt like punching him."

Trowa turned to follow Heero back inside with a chuckle. "That was a little more than a punch, but I suppose it works."

------

Relena woke up the following morning… in her bed? She was puzzled. She clearly remembered falling asleep at her window around five, but now she was lying comfortably in her bed. Comfortably. It didn't take long for her to give up on the thought. She really didn't want to get up yet anyway. She wondered if anyone expected her to do much today. She hoped not. Finding out would require moving. Moving meant caring. She didn't care. She was too tired to care.

As she began to drift back to sleep, she felt a stir in the bed, but she knew it wasn't her that moved. 'Time to care!' She cautiously turned her head to the side. A sleeping face of a man met her. Heero. Suddenly, she wasn't so tired. Thoughts began to dance in her mind. What was he doing in her bed? And why didn't she remember?

------

AN: I have a flash-back fetish. Learn to love.

Heero was the last of the five pilots to leave. He had been exhausted, but he also wanted to make sure that everything was taken care of. Things like, where the prisoners were being taken to, and making sure their escorts knew what they were doing. Basic stuff. They knew what was going on: he was just being extra careful. This thing with Larry, or Derrick rather, had him on edge. How could he not have seen that? And how the hell did he let him slip into his team? Into his system? How'd he do it?

Heero signed the last couple pieces of paper and left to return to the Peacecraft Mansion. He entered her room without a sound. The sun had just began to rise. What time was it? Not "shortly," he thought. She'd understand. He looked to the bed. The empty bed? He had expected to find her sound asleep there, but instead, he found her sleeping in a most uncomfortable looking position on the little cushion on her window seal. He shook his head and silently walked to her. He wondered how long she'd been there? In her arms, he found a familiar stuffed object. He smiled as he removed the bear and lifted her from her resting spot. Careful not to wake her, he placed her into the bed and pulled the sheets over her. He simply watched her for a few moments. She looked so peaceful. So calm. So… beautiful.

During his reflection, he had the urge to lie down next to her. And so, without a second thought, he crawled onto the bed and watched her with his head propped up on his hand. He hadn't originally planned on falling asleep there, but the supreme comfyness of the comforter and feather mattress coaxed him into staying, and he was soon sound asleep next to her.

It was the first time in a months that Heero Yuy slept longer than four hours and free of nightmares. He didn't wake in a cold sweat. He wasn't anxious. He was calm and relaxed. Until he woke up and realized he'd fallen asleep in her bed, that is. How was he going to explain? Did he really need to? Would she care?

He glanced over to find the covers pushed back: she was already awake. He took a look at the clock on the nightstand to find it was noon. Noon? He sat up and ran his hand through his hair. He'd slept too long. He should be at Preventor HQ by now. The others were supposed to be waiting on him. He was holding things up staying here. He should be gone. And more importantly, he should not by lying in the Vice Foreign Minister's bed.

From the bathroom, he heard the shower turn on. He could slip out now and she wouldn't notice. He could avoid any and all questions right now if he left. No admitting feelings would have to take place. Nothing. He just had to get up. 'This bed sure is comfortable…' He lied back down, with the back of his head resting on his hands. Should he leave? Or stay? Obligation and duty? Or what he felt like doing? He thought on in for a few minutes before getting up and collecting his keys and jacket. Duty won again. He made a silent promise that it wouldn't happen again.

------

Relena returned to her bedroom with plans and thought-out conversations to get the answers she wanted out of Heero Yuy. All these plans, however, fell to pieces: he was gone. Again. All her effort down the drain. All she wanted was to ask him a few simple questions. That's all she wanted, but she couldn't even get that out of him. He kept disappearing on her.

She sighed and walked to the bed. 'Might as well make it..' she thought. As she pulled the sheets back, she found a small scrap of paper folded and sitting on the pillow, next to a certain stuffed animal.

I'll be back in a few hours. Promise this time.

She wanted to roll her eyes. To scream "yeah right!" Something to let out her frustration with him. But, a small smile spread across her face instead. How could she not smile at that? She picked up the bear and sat down on the unfinished bed. Hugging the bear tightly, she fell back and looked up at the ceiling. Maybe he'd keep this promise? Maybe he was staying this time? It'd be a nice change.

------

End chapter seven.

And there it is. Now, why'd that take so long? Good question. All that matters: I posted it. nn;; Please review!


	8. Return

Disclaimer: None of these things are mine! I'm just filling holes with my own thoughts :)

I realize that it's been over a year. Possibly reaching year two... I appologize. I have no excuse other than lack of inspiration and give-a-shit, heh. I have re-read and looked over old notes (hehe, I wish you all could see this paper I've scribbled all over. It's rediculous!), countless times to get back into whatever stream of though I was in, though, so hopefully it won't seem like I was gone for that long. Enjoy the new chapter. It's only planned to go to ten. I'll try to whip them up and put this thing to rest. :) Then I can finish my other fanfictions. So again, thanks for hanging in there! I appreciate all of you:D

-  
Chapter Eight: Return

At Preventor HQ that afternoon, Heero found out that the masterminds behind the plot were actually wealthy CEOs and businessmen of multi-billion dollar companies, meaning that they could pay their way out of anything. After a lengthy discussion, they all agreed to set up security teams to monitor their actions rather than waste their time trying to keep them in prision. An hour or so later, they all left the conference room.  
The doors slid open and Heero entered the elevator. As he went to select his floor, he heard the shriek from the hallway. "Hey, Heero buddy! Wait up!" Seconds later, the braided wonder was standing next to him. "To the garage"  
"Yeah, yeah." Duo took a second to catch his breath. "For a second there, I thought you weren't going to hold the doors for me, buddy." He chuckled.  
"I wasn't"  
"Oh well... whatever"  
Heero looked to Duo. He had that look on his face, like he was going to ask something-  
"You alright"  
Sure enough. Heero regretted not taking the stairs. "Why"  
Duo smirked. "That's so you. Anyway, no, I was just wondering. I've never known you to pass up something like that. Why'd you let someone else take care of the project? I mean, it does involce Princess' safety and all"  
Heero sighed and shook his head. He really should have taken the stairs. "They have to give me the finaly proposal to look over. I just didn't feel like dealing with all the paperwork." He paused, and mumbled to himself. "I have better things to be doing"  
Duo's eyes lit up. "Ooooooh"  
Heero gave a Yuy Death Glare.  
"I seeeeee. Do tell"  
Heero wanted to smack the grin from his face.  
"Oh, c'mon!" He nudged Heero's shoulder. "Tell me all the juicy details about you and Rele"  
Ding! The elevator opened as they reached the garage level. Heero exited smirking, ignoring the gasp of the secretary as she found the slighty-beaten Duo inside.  
"I'll find out eventually"  
"Whatever."

-----

"You really shouldn't beat him up on him so much"  
Heero raised a brow at his sandy blonde compainion.  
"What?" Relena raised her head from his chest and shifted to her side, using her arm to prop her head up.  
"He deserved it," he defended.  
"No excuse." She rolled over and laid down on her back, moving her arms to rest behind her head, acting like a pillow.  
Heero smirked. He really couldn't expect the promoter of peace to answer any differently. He too rolled over and looked up at the clouds. It'd turned out to be a pretty nice day out, and Relena managed to shut up the press long enough for them to escape the building into the meadows of her estate. Blanket in arms, she led him to this spot where they'd spent the past few hours. They hadn't talked too much, just mindless chatter about their days. He had a feeling she'd push the conversation in another direction eventually. He'd spent the quiet moments preparing for it, and secretly wishing she wouldn't muster the courage, even though he knew they both had things that needed to be said. "Heero"  
'Uh oh'  
She continued to stare up. "Heero, do..." she stopped. She had a line planned, but now she didn't want to use it. Why did this have to be so difficult? She had a question. She should have asked it. End story. But she didn't want to ask it, because she didn't want to hear the answer. It could shatter the little dream world she was in at the moment. How he answered, or if for that matter, could make or break her.  
Heero closed his eyes and took in a good deep breath before turning his body towards hers. "Relena?" This conversation couldn't be put off any longer... unfortunately. "Relena, what were you going to ask"  
Relena looked over confused. Did he just initiate this conversation? She bit her lip and then sat up. "I... I won't need you to protect me now. The threat's gone. It's all been taken care of..." she paused again, before looking away and lowering her voice. She'd started off strong, but the emotion began to show through. "Does that mean you'll leave again"  
He lied there, stunned. "I..." He didn't know what to say. She nodded her head. "I kinda expected that"  
Heero sat up and turned her face towards his. She was crying. "Relena, I can't promise you anything. I don't know how long I'll be here." He paused as he whiped a tear from her cheek. "But I want you to know, that I don't plan on leaving. I don't want to be anywhere else."

-----

The summer came and went, happily. Heero moved back into his old apartment, took up his old job, and things returned to normal. Their feelings remained a secret to the world, but not to each other. Heero spent relatively no time at his own place, just enough so no one would suspect anything between them. "Mr. Yuy?" a voiced called into the dark cave he called his office. "My. Yuy, sorry to disturb you, but I have a message here for you"  
Heero looked up from the folder he'd been looking through. "Who is it from"  
The young man handed the yellow envelope over. "Didn't say"  
Heero grabbed it and looked up at the man. "Didn't say, or you didn't ask"  
He looked at his superior nervously. "My mistake, sir. Sorry"  
Heero shook his head. "Please. Go away." Heero sighed as he watched the man scurry away. 'You can't count on anyone these days...' He then looked down to the envelope in his hand. It didn't look suspicious, or boobytrapped. He'd had some delivered to him before. Confident it was safe, he opened it up to find a picture. Heero's temper grew hot. How the hell did anyone get a picture of this? Who the hell got this picture? 'Duo!' That was the only person he could imagine would do this. Or had the skill to slip by him. He angrily picked up the phone and dialed out.  
"Hello?" the voice cheerfully rang out.  
"This is not funny, Maxwell." His tone was nothing less than stern.  
"Heero? Is that you?" He chuckled. "Of course it is! No one else is that serious sounding. Now what was that"  
"Maxwell. How dare you"  
"Wait a minute! Hold on! What's wrong, buddy"  
Heero was losing patience with this game. "Stop playing around. I know it was you"  
"What did I do?! C'mon, man, this isn't funny"  
Heero sighed. "I got a envelope delivered to my office today. Ring a bell"  
"Uh... nope. Can't say it does. What was in it"  
"Damn it, Maxwell! You know what the hell was in it! I am not amused"  
Duo grew more confused by the minute, he didn't know what the hell Heero was talking about. "Buddy, I really don't"  
"Where the hell do you get off taking pictures of Relena and I asleep together?!" Duo's end of the phone was silent. "Well? What the hell is your problem"  
"Heero... pal... I." Duo paused. "I don't know who took those, but it wasn't me. I didn't even know"  
"You're a terrible liar"  
"No, I really didn't, Heero. I swear. I wouldn't lie about that. Do you need some help finding out who"  
Heero slammed the phone into the reciever. If it wasn't that idiot, then who else would have the nerve to send this to his office? Let alone take them.

-----

A black sedan pulled up to the Darlian estate. Relena and Heero climbed out and walked towards the door, Heero leading the way in long strides.  
"Heero?" Relena touched his shoulder to slow him down. "You okay? You've been really quiet the last few days. What's wrong? You can tell me"  
Heero turned to her when they reached to door and looked at her lovingly. He couldn't worry her with what had happened earlier this week. He'd caught the guy yesterday, so there was no threat left. It'd been one of her servants. A new guy. He'd expected some paparrazi, but didn't think he was going to have any more staff leaks. Not after Larry. It had just been bothering him that his system wasn't as tight as it should be. He kept blaming himself. "Nothing," he uttered after a moment. "Let's get inside. It's going to rain soon"  
She smiled half-heartily. She knew something was up, but, she wouldn't pry today.

-----

Heero looked up at the balcony at the figure. He was surrounded by media, being blamed for the very dead Relena at his feet. He cried out and lunged at the railing above him, landing where the figure had been standing moments before. Down the nearby hall, he could hear the man running. He chased after. A few feet in, the hallway grew dark. He was in some void now. He didn't care. He was going to get whoever that guy was. The real killer! He was going to clear his name, and get his revenge! Anyone who could kill that angel didn't deserve to live!  
After following for what seemed forever, the figure stopped and Heero caught up. "You coward! Fight me"  
The figure turned to Heero, still in the shadows, and smirked. "You can't fight me. You can't win." He disappeard into the darkness and his words circled around Heero. "I will always win. I will always tear the one you love away from you"  
Heero was enraged. Who did this guy think he was? "Who the hell are you? Why don't you face me? Why don't you fight me?" Heero plowed towards where he heard the voice last, but stumbled into nothing. "Show yourself"  
"You really want that?" it taunted.  
Heero clenched his fists. The figure stepped from the shadows into the lighted area where Heero stood.  
Heero's fists unclenched as he stood there in shock. He was looking at himself.

-----

Heero woke up that night in an awful, cold sweat. He couldn't do this. It was too much. No matter how he tried, he was too much of a threat around her. She'd never be safe. He got up and gave her a kiss on the forehead before he walked out the door.

------

End chapter eight.

It couldn't stay happy! C'mon now. I'm not done yeeet. I've still got two chapters! I am unable to write two chapters worth of fluff in a row, heh. Besides, it keeps this interesting, and will pull together some things. You'll see. :D Anywho, feel free to review. Make your guesses as to what will happen next. Will I end this happy or bitter? Mwaha! For you to find out! 


End file.
